The Bubble Of Doom
by roxas-for-president
Summary: When Axel invades Roxas's bubble, things get violent. AkuRoku.


**I just realised, I don't own kingdom hearts. I'm not blonde and a blue eyed, but contacts can fix anything these days. My hair is gravity defying, but that's because it's retarded like that. And i needed a break from writing my original story which is choking up a lot of my time, as well as school. I hate school. May it burn in the fiery pits of the underworld. MUAHAHAHAHA**

**Ok, I'm bored. Have fun reading this.**

**Characters may be out of character, the universe maybe alternate. Do the readers really give a damn? Meh.**

**-X-x The Bubble of Doom x-X-**

There were very few things in his prestigious, eventful life on this very planet that Roxas Strife disliked. There were few things, in fact, that he hated and only one or two things he downright, unconditionally loathed.

Roxas hated clowns. Oh how he did so. You couldn't really blame him for this phobia either, because once in his younger more innocent days where there was no such things a cooties, his deplorable ...ahem, I mean, adorable older brother Demyx decided to dress up as one – the bad thick red lipstick the green afro, and horribly done white face paint which all, in all, made him look strikingly like the Joker. At this time, in Roxas's dear little life the background music raised in a dramatic crescendo, fire burned in the background whilst the ceiling lights flickered ominously subtitled with the words, _why so serious?_ Demyx had tried to give the blonde bundle of joy a hug, which of course made him burst out into tears screaming bloody murder. Sora, his twin brother, decided to beat the life out of Demyx with his toy keyblade screaming the holy manta, _DIE DIE DIE!_

See the connection to why he hated clowns? Yes, i thought so. However, this fact is completely irrelevant to the story.

He also hated Mondays. You see, the world is going to end on a Monday. There was nothing good about Monday. Ever. Therefore, if the world was going to skid to a halt and fall into the endless abyss of Apocalypse, Monday was the day to do it. Why? Because the other older brother Cloud, the miscreant chocobo headed master, would always bring his best friend , the one he secretly despised, Reno, the elusive, psychotic, hyperactive red headed weirdo, over their house to hang out. Now, Reno is a flirt, he hits on anything that moves, so evidently, if Reno was going over to the strife's household than Squall – _its Leon, you moron_- Leonhart would follow in order to keep the red heads hand of his blondes ass. So, if there was a horizontal surface available – couch, bed, kitchen table or secluded area you would find cloud with some part of his anatomy pinned to it whilst Leon thoroughly molested him. Now, Cloud is the type of guy that denies that Squall – _its LEON, blondie-_ Leonhart is his boyfriend, even if his hand is down his pants. Moving along.

But that wasn't the only reason why he hated Mondays. Oh No, there was this one tiny fact that turns Roxas's blatant hatred for Mondays in the category of 'oh, how i loathe thee' is one significant fact.

Sometimes, Reno brought his younger brother Axel along.

Roxas loathed Axel.

Oh how he loathed Axel. He loathed the pyromaniac, psychotic, perverted, pin-headed, i -look- i- had- fun- with- a- fork- and- an- electrical- socket fire truck headed, egoistical prick. Oh how he loathed him. He looked like somebody who would be in some secret organisation that steals hearts from innocent bystanders (if the retarded tear drop tattoos where anything to go by). He loathed his stupid smirk/smile/expressions and his lame pick up lines such as, "my name is Axel, Got it memorised?" because honestly, what kind of pick up line is that. He loathed The Prat. Not just any prat. _The_ prat. The prat. He loathed the fact that upon their first meeting, Axel grinned his loathsome grin and strutted, _strutted!_ To the couch a promptly jumped over and laid down on it and falling asleep.

Now this is where the loathing begins.

Everyone in the Strife household knows that the couch belongs to Roxas. It belongs to Roxas, every single fine stitching of leather and cushion belonged to Roxas. That idiot was defiling his couch. His couch. Roxas had fond memories of that couch, and the idiot was oozing his pig-headed onto his royal surface. Roxas was not happy. Not happy at all. Now, usually Cloud would save the unsuspecting fools that dared to defile Roxas's holy sanctuary from sudden decapitation, but right now he was preoccupied with the fact that Reno had made a pass at him, and possessive Leon was currently acquainting Reno's face with the fish pond.

Ouch.

This is where the loathing accentuates.

Roxas tried to kick the fat lump of gasoline off his couch. He failed. So he tried again. Once again. He failed. Now, Roxas has the emotional range of teaspoon, or if you were optimistic like Sora, you would say the emotional health of a fairy. Tinker bell in particularly. That's because fairies are so small, they can only hold one emotion at a time. Now, if Roxas was a normal boy, he could maybe find the situation he somehow ended up in as remotely hilarious, but since Roxas is not normal, he did not find the next situation funny at all. With one rather viscous tug, Roxas attempted to pull Axel off the couch only to slip on a conveniently placed rug on the floor, slipping over and landing with a resounding THUD on the floor with a hard, surprisingly muscled body falling on top of his. Now, Roxas could deal with the situation like this, but when something warm and surprisingly soft covered his mouth could he no longer deal with the situation, since it was a very awake red head defiling his lips, stealing his first kiss which Roxas was going to give to Namine. Thus, this is the first time Axels face got acquainted with Roxas's fist.

Thus the loathing Climaxes.

Now, every Monday that Axel came over he somehow ended up molesting Roxas, playing pranks on Roxas, being in the same Roxas, sitting on Roxas favourite couch, eating Roxas food and doing everything and everything that somehow related to Roxas. No. Not Today. Today, Roxas was going to make a stand, he was going to beat the shit out of the red head for all the misdeeds done in the past, the fire brigade was going to thank him for getting rid of the cities head pyromaniac, Roxas couch would continues to love him for getting rid of the parasite. Yes, Roxas was going to make a stand all he needed to do now was-

"Roxas, why are you in the closet?"

-Stop hiding in the closet, secretly hoping that axel the molester was not coming over today.

Cloud was eyeing his brother suspiciously with as much dignity he could salvage, why? because hair was mussed looking suspiciously like sex hair, the top button of his pants undone, shirt missing and strange red markings were littered all over his skin. Oh and leons hands were splayed on his stomach and mouth attached to Clouds neck. Hmm.

"Hey Leon," Roxas greeted absentmindedly to Clouds boyfriend-not-boyfriend averting his eyes to the numerous amounts of toys littered on the floor. Yes, actual children's toys. Perverted much?

"Hn"

"Closet?" Cloud asked again, suppressing a moan.

"What Closet?"

"The closet you're sitting in"

"So I am"

Roxas was eyeing the red headed troll doll with suspicion, expecting the red head to randomly pop out at any moment. Stupid Axel and his couch defiling, perverted ways. The troll doll looked like it was about to pounce and rape him causing Roxas to violently jerk. No! Not the lips!

"What's wrong!?!" Cloud somewhat shouted when his brother let out a slight scream.

"Wrong?" Roxas said, his eyes wide with fear, "nothing. Really. It's nothing. There's nothing wrong, why would there be anything wrong? Am I acting like there's something wrong? Because there isn't anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine. _Perfectly_ fine. Never been better; because there's nothing wrong at all. It wasn't like I was hiding in the closet or anything with a troll doll that looks like it wants to rape me. It looks like Axel. No, I'm not hiding from Axel. What gave you the idea that I'm hiding from Axel? You're crazy Cloud, I think you're having too much sex with Leon that it's depleting your brain cells. Who said I wanted to have sex with Axel? I do not want that pervert to molest me!. You're talking about Axel a lot. Why are you talking about Axel? What makes you think Axel has anything to with this? What if I like sitting in closet? It's not like I was hiding from Axel in the closet, I mean I was just waiting for him to go home so he doesn't kiss me what's wrong with that? I don't want him to kiss me. Why would I want him to kiss me? I hate him! Oh my god, if you found me that means he will find me, and then he will kiss me and then he'll try to rape me so that that means that no matter where I go to hide he'll follow me and I won't be able to get away from him and he'll kiss me anyway and Cloud! You have to hide me!" Roxas screamed and jumped up, "Axels trying to steal my innocence"

Cloud blinked. Leon blinked. Roxas blinked. The troll doll blinked.

"Roxas, if you don't get out of this cupboard right now. Leon and I will continue this in your room."

Silence.

The a resounding, "TAKE THE CLOSET!"

X

Roxas was going to do this like a man. He needed to march right up to that pyro on his couch and demand him to get his ass off it. He could do this. He wasn't a dual keyblade wielder for nothing. Slapping the Strife Glare on his face, he marched up to the couch where the unsuspecting redhead was sitting watching Television and conjured up the best insult or statement ever know to man,

"You're in my bubble"

Okay, maybe not.

Axel turned to the blonde headed enigma that obviously radiating 'I shall kill thee' vibes However, Axel being the awesome, cool headed dude he is, ignored it and asked with a grin, "Your bubble?"

"Yes, my bubble."

"But what do you mean by your 'bubble'?"

"My bubble! Personal radius; private space; holy sanctuary; MY BUBBLE! Which you, you fire obsessed freak are invading!" Roxas practically screamed, his hair stuck up in erratic spikes making his resemble a feral cat threatening a dog. Axel idly wondered what would happen if he threw a bucket of water over Roxas's head. Saving that thought for another time, Axel grinned. Roxas was issuing a challenge of the whits and Axel –DAWG is not going down.

"I don't see a bubble" Axel said with a cool indifference, he stood up form the couch and strutted his way over the fuming blonde and raided his personal space. He would beat the blonde.

"Is it right here?" And with that word being the only warning, Roxas's personal space was assaulted by the maniac redhead who was also very, very close, who happened to smell like ash and bubblegum.

Hmm... Roxas liked bubblegum

"Right here." Pale fingers lifted, past Roxas's line of sight and pressed against his forehead, pushing aside a few spikes.

Oh my God. He was being molested. AGAIN!

Flames erupted from behind Roxas whilst his eye drastically began to twitch whilst he hissed out venousmously, "Over there! NOW!"

Axel complied but instead of moving farther away, which is what Roxas wanted him to do, he moved even closer so that his breath ghosted over Roxas face. He grinned at the look of horror that overcame Roxas's face.

"Are you really that thick headed? Over there, is not over here. And over here is not obviously over there!"

Right because that made total sense. Axel, having no idea what selective hearing was answered sweetly, "Maybe it is, Maybe its not"

Violent twitch. Another violent twitch.

Roxas moved away from Axel, only to have Axel follow him. So Roxas moved away again, Axel moved closer. The cupboard started to bang loudly. So Roxas bolted and jumped on the couch, Axel Followed suit.

"GET OUT OF THE BUBBLE!"

"Maybe"

"Out!"

"never!"

"Stop breathing my air! You're tainting my air! Stop it!"

"Maybe I want to do more than just taint your air".

Roxas twitched visibly and turned away from him. Axel, laughing on the inside, started humming. This then escalated to singing.

"when you walk away, you don't hear me say PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEASEEEEEE!  
OH BAYYYYYYYYBEEEEEEEEEEE! Don't Go!"

Roxas' twitch became a muscle spasm.

"i got a lovely bunch of coconuts da dah dah da dum  
here they are standing in a row dum dum dum"

Axel dimly noted that he should never go into the music industry, and began to notice that Roxas was violently convulsing on the floor.

"Barney is a dinosaur –"

"GET OUT OF MY BUBBLE YOU TONE DEAF MENTALLY CHALLANGED PYRO! YOU MOLESTING FREAKAZOID! GO AWAY AND SACRIFICE SOME UNSUSPECTING ANINAL AND LEAVE ME ALONE! "

Oh dear, it seemed our brooding blonde had Cracked.

Axel hid grin. Oh, our little blonde did not know he was playing right into his hands. Roxas violently stood and started to stomp away in some random direction. Instead, he adopted the kicked puppy look and said mournfully full of heart, and rejection, "if that's what you want, i'll go away forever and you wont have to see me again"

Roxas paused and mentally jumped for joy, he was finally getting what he wished for, but how come he had a bitter feeling residing in his stomach. It was like his heart sunk like a sinker and the fish were beginning to gnaw on it. It was a cold, blank feeling. Now, Roxas was a brooder, he occasionally laughed and stuff so he knew what happiness felt like, but what the hell was this?

"wha??????" he breathed out, facing axel. Unintelligible, but effective.

There was silence in the tension filled air. Unimaginable silence. Roxas was too busy trying to figure out what the hell this weird emotion was and why it wasn't going away. Note; remember he has the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Suddenly, there was banging in the closet. Pun intended? Totally.

Now Roxas, in his brooding emotion seeking state, jumped or levitated away from the floor (as told children for later days) and landed once again on the aforementioned evil rug that created this entire catastrophe. Oh how Roxas loathed that rug. He loathed the colour of the rug, the feel of the rug and anything that had involved the rug. Life is unfair. He hates Mondays and what else did he hate again.

Whilst Roxas was cursing carpet, Mondays, his lack of co-ordination and brooding to what was missing on his list of doom, death, destruction and cotton candy.. Axel walked over to the fallen in blonde and in one of his rare moments of cautious human decency extended his hand to Roxas. Roxas stared at it. He grabbed it, albeit reluctantly, and got up from the floor.

Then.

Another loud romp had come from the closet where Cloud and Leon was with a rather large and throaty yell. Roxas yelled from the horrible, soul wrenching noise. After all, images of your oler brother being chummed chummed and boing boinged (that sounded better in his head) was a very scaring experience. Roxas slipped once again and well brought axel down with him. How cliché.

They were straddling one another, but neither made a comment on it. Well it was kin of hard to when the blonde member resembled a fish and the red-head a Cheshire cat. Axel leaned forward a bit and covered Roxas's lips with his own. Roxas didn't object for a moment because quite frankly he was still in a daze, but he soon then succumbed to the Axel Kiss Of Doom, formally known as OH MY GOD HES MOLESTING ME . Roxas was slowly turning into goo, and then the closet made another large band breaking him out of his stupor

Axel broke the kiss and said rather sheepishly, "I'm in your bubble"

Roxas rolled his eyes and said, "Shut up and Kiss me"

"Got it memorized"

X Inside the Closet X

Leon was cradling his rather abused head in hands, but not for the reason you are thinking. Cloud his oh so devious 'I'm not your boyfriend Leon, but hey, feel free to molest me' boyfriend had thrown him in the closet and pinned him to the wall. Now Leon was in seventh heaven when cloud did this and began to well, try to seduce his boyfriend. Cloud, rather roughly, banged his head into to wall and peered outside the closet at his younger brother attempting to admit his feeling for the red head. Leon whined, well as much as he could for his cold hard demeanour.

"It's all going to plan"

Let's just say any attempts of Leon getting lucky were futile.

Oh and the loud banging noises in the closet?

That was his head being banged against the wall for trying.

But hey, Roxas didn't need to know that.

Stupid devious blondes.

**-x-X-x-**

**Bwah. Enjoyed? (Minority) Hated? (Majority) Hey it's okay to be different.**


End file.
